The Fertile Void
By Nancy Fernandez Mills
Do you remember what it was like to be 15? I do, not because I have such a great memory, but because I just went through a couple of years when I felt that way all over again! I often told my friends that turning 50 felt like being in a "Second Adolescence." It turns out I was more accurate than I knew!
In her book Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, former MS Magazine Editor Suzanne Braun Levine talks about a period of time called the "fertile void." If you've been there, you get it right away. It's a time of confusion - who am I now? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? It's also a time of new energy, desires and searching. It's a time of knowing that something is "out there" calling you, but you're just not sure what it is or how to find it!
Braun Levine says that new research shows that women's brains at midlife are actually changing, with startling new growth in the medial temporal lobe (the seat of emotional learning). The only other time of life when this happens is during the teenage years. Combine these brain changes with the huge hormonal shifts at midlife, and it's no wonder we feel like we're on a roller coaster!
The good news is that the Second Adolescence leads to a Second Adulthood. It's really a Second Chance! We learn not to sweat the small stuff and to find our passion and purpose in life. And if we're lucky, we have the time, health and resources to create an exciting new chapter.
I especially love the advice Braun Levine gives to women in this stage. I think it's great advice for men too! Slow down...give the confusion the time and space it needs...and pay attention. Don't try to figure it all out right away. It's OK to feel this way. Find a way to feel compassion for yourself as you go through this stage and find friends who support you.
Do you remember what it was like to be 15? I do, not because I have such a great memory, but because I just went through a couple of years when I felt that way all over again! I often told my friends that turning 50 felt like being in a "Second Adolescence." It turns out I was more accurate than I knew!
In her book Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, former MS Magazine Editor Suzanne Braun Levine talks about a period of time called the "fertile void." If you've been there, you get it right away. It's a time of confusion - who am I now? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? It's also a time of new energy, desires and searching. It's a time of knowing that something is "out there" calling you, but you're just not sure what it is or how to find it!
Braun Levine says that new research shows that women's brains at midlife are actually changing, with startling new growth in the medial temporal lobe (the seat of emotional learning). The only other time of life when this happens is during the teenage years. Combine these brain changes with the huge hormonal shifts at midlife, and it's no wonder we feel like we're on a roller coaster!
The good news is that the Second Adolescence leads to a Second Adulthood. It's really a Second Chance! We learn not to sweat the small stuff and to find our passion and purpose in life. And if we're lucky, we have the time, health and resources to create an exciting new chapter.
I especially love the advice Braun Levine gives to women in this stage. I think it's great advice for men too! Slow down...give the confusion the time and space it needs...and pay attention. Don't try to figure it all out right away. It's OK to feel this way. Find a way to feel compassion for yourself as you go through this stage and find friends who support you.
posted at 8:06 AM
5 Comments:
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I recently entered The Fertile Void and went on a 6 month road trip around the country by myself. It was life changing. I cannot sit and let the world go by. I have to get out there and experience it. I'm greatful to Ms Levine and others who have studied and written about the "Fuck you Fifties" as I have come to call it.
Robbin
Well done!
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